Kayaking: Not for the faint of heart or weak of arm

I hope you are having a fantastic summer.  I had the opportunity to go on a family vacation to beautiful Orcas Island in Washington State this summer.  It is undoubtedly one of the most breathtaking places I have visited. 

Being that I was in a new place, wanting to take full advantage of the surrounding beauty, and perhaps also wanting to step out of my comfort zone, I agreed to go kayaking with my husband, son and in-laws.   As luck would have it, we were walking distance from the Deer Harbor Marina, where you can go kayaking on a 3-hour tour (insert popular 80’s theme song here).  I jokingly volunteered to be Ginger, perhaps underestimating the analogy, and overestimating my upper arm strength.  Despite the ominous signs warning of the dangers of encountering native orcas whales, some part of me threw caution to the wind, and try something new. 

We walked to the harbor, enlisting the services of Megan, a petite blonde yoga instructor/kayak guide, who disarmed us all immediately with her friendly demeanor, and organic sensibility (yes, she actually ate a Clif bar halfway through our trip).  She walked us down to the marina where we found three kayaks waiting for us; one for my husband, son, and me, a second for my brother- and sister-in-law and niece, and the third for a newlywed couple.  Megan quickly assessed that we were the kayaking virgins of the group, therefore directing her ‘safety’ tips at us.  In addition to life vests, we were given ‘spray skirts;’ an apparatus that anchored us to the kayak while protecting us from all that pesky water.  Megan was wearing a t-shirt, but apparently this was not the appropriate attire for kayaking.  With all of us watching as unwilling spectators as we sat anchored to our kayaks, she removed her t-shirt, revealing a skimpy white sports bra, and donned a long sleeve shirt instead.  Why she couldn’t accomplish this in the office before we headed to the dock still escapes me. 

After the peep show and lengthy safety instructions we all departed from the marina.  We were also told that a combination of pushing and pulling would prevent our shoulders from becoming sore. Megan, in her own kayak, informed us that we were in no hurry, and that we only needed to keep a slow, steady pace.  We were lulled into thinking that meant we didn’t have work hard.  Our kayak quickly fell behind, like foreshadowing from some Vacation movie.  Our spirits were not dampened however, and we continued on.  I glanced at my in-laws, who were rowing effortlessly, following the lead of my sister-in-law in front.  Even my niece was keeping perfect tempo with the adults.  They were gliding along as though they kayaked for a living.  I was in the front of our kayak, and glanced back at my family hoping for a similar sight: my son was already complaining that his arms hurt, and my husband was rowing exactly opposite of my stroke.  I knew then this was going to be a long day.  

As we rowed into the bay, our kayak continued to lag behind.  It didn’t seem to matter how hard or fast we rowed either.  Shortly into our journey, my son gave up all together and ducked down into his life vest.  Unfortunately, this meant that his oars had nowhere to go other than to create an impediment to mine.  Every stroke ended in a loud crack as our oars made contact.  As we tried to keep up with the group, we noticed that Megan was pointing to the many sights and talking to the other two kayaks.  Everyone was smiling, nodding and taking pictures.  I’m sure whatever she was saying was very interesting and informative; unfortunately, we couldn’t hear a single word of it.  Once in a while, she appeared to take pity on us and stop the other kayaks to allow us to catch up.  Of course this meant they had several rowing breaks while we had none. So much for keeping a slow steady pace.  

The one highlight of our trip (besides not encountering a whale) was a group of Harbor seals hauling out on some rocks.  They were shy and watched us very carefully, but they were a welcome distraction to our aching muscles.  After the seal sighting, we began our return to the harbor.  Oh, but the fun wasn’t quite over yet!  Finally catching a current from the incoming tide, and apparently finally getting the whole rowing thing down, our kayak began to take the lead.  Megan, who’s kayak was turned sideways at that moment, was unfortunately in our path.  We knocked into her, causing the amiable and chill Megan to lose her cool.  She scolded us sharply, explaining that the kayak she was in could have easily tipped over.  How were we supposed to know that?!  And shouldn’t she accept some responsibility for being in our way, I mean, aren’t we the novices at this?  Dully admonished, we continued on, and quickly pulled ahead again!  My spirits soared...until Megan told us we needed to slow down and stay with the group (hmmm...funny she didn’t say that when the others pulled ahead). 

At long last, we glided back into the harbor, and said our goodbyes to Megan. I’m glad I tried kayaking, and I will probably do it again someday, but it’s going to be a while.  The day was not a total bust, because besides the seals, I found some delicious caramel popcorn at the little store by the dock.  You can order it online from the link below.  My favorite was the cinnamon butterscotch.   

http://www.seattlepopcorn.com/

Driver's Ed-The Sequel

Let me begin by stating that I am no supporter of road rage.  In fact, my daily 1 hour, 20 minute commute affords me valuable time to myself, reflecting and listening to my favorite music.  I try to follow the rules of the road, and be polite to my fellow drivers.  That being said, I have been known to involuntarily curse in front of my child/mother/grandmother when some idiot driver cut me off.  I secretly rejoice when that car that just had to pass me, gets stuck behind an even slower-moving vehicle.   And perhaps I may have purposely slowed down a time or two when some moron feels the need drive so close to my rear bumper that when I look in my rear-view mirror, it appears as though they are sitting in my back seat.  For the most part though, I consider myself a safe, conscientious driver.  

Because of the amount of time I spend on the road, I am witness to many behaviors I feel need to be addressed.  Now I don’t know how much you remember from Driver’s Education, but for me it is mostly a blur, punctuated only by the emotionally scarring Red Asphalt (which is pretty much the Driver’s Ed equivalent of Scared Straight).  I have compiled my own set of rules for the road.  Here is a list of some of the things I wish were taught in those classes:

• Parking: When selecting a parking space, consider that you are not the only one who needs to enter and exit your vehicle.  Believe or not, most human beings require more than a 4” space to crawl into their car.  If you choose to park your vehicle using the “I am the only person in the universe” logic, just don’t be surprised when you find a dent in your door.  
• Merging: Ego is really the problem here. There is no valid reason for not wanting that car to merge in front of you other than the fact that they will be in front of you.  P.S. Darting into the next lane to avoid the merging conflict altogether is a total copout, and will likely only gain you the wrath of the drivers in that lane.  
• Turn Signals: Not just steering wheel accessories, these helpful wands magically inform the driver behind you that you will no longer be driving in a straight line.  Try as I might, I have not been able to master the skill of mental telepathy.  There aren’t many driving functions that require less effort either.  You probably utilize more muscle groups tuning your radio. 
• Speed Limits: If you are behind me, and I am driving at the posted speed limit, don’t upset yourself, consider this my gift to you; the gift of not having to pay for a speeding ticket.  
• Bumper Stickers: Pointless, distracting and annoying.  I should not be able to tell everything about you by looking at the back of your car.  I don’t care what religion you are, what political party you support, what music you listen to, if you have a baby on board, what your other car is, or that wrangler butts drive you nuts.  I also could care less how many people are in your family (often represented by turtles, stick figures, etc.)  Evolution, creation, does it really matter? (Hey look, we’re driving horseless carriages!) Once in a great while, I will see a really clever one (see below), but still, you just put a sticker on a really expensive piece of machinery!
• Privacy: Hey, I can see you picking your nose! Gross! 

There are too many to list of course, and feel free to comment with your own contributions.  I leave you with these final tips for happy, safe driving: be polite, pay attention, be respectful, and consider that the driver next to you just might be having worse day than you are.